I am reading this book called The Four Agreements. The second agreement is:
Don’t take it personally
Basically when you take something someone said personally, it means that you were already believing that about yourself.
That prompted an interesting thought.
When I was a kid, I was angry at my mom because she didn’t care about me, I felt very unloved. I kept perpetuating that thought which in turn created the feeling of being unloved. So naturally, every time she behaved in a way I interpreted as targeting me, telling me I am not worthy, using her actions instead of her words, when I basically took her behaviour personally, I believed that thought, I believed it was directed at me because that’s what I had been telling myself. I was taking it personally because it had been my belief.
Back then, I didn’t know any better, I had no idea I could break free. I was young, I was a child.
Now however, I have no excuse. I am smart enough to question the thought, the belief “I am not worthy of love” and smart enough to know that if I believe everybody is worthy of love and belonging, it logically follows that I am part of the “everybody”. So it’s easy to expand this and say everybody is worthy of being loved just for who they are, this is another belief I have.
Now thankfully, I can give myself all of what that little girl wanted so desperately to have. Now I can smile at her as I look in the mirror, and say “I love you, just the way you are”.