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I know I am not alone in thinking that I have contradictory thoughts and feelings.

For example, while I do believe that friendships die of their own accord, because we lose common points with people or because we can’t keep everyone in our lives, people will also hear me say that I simply cannot give up on some people in my life that I absolutely love and I am 100% committed to. I have no idea where I draw the line. I am not even sure there is a line, because in my mind’s eye, it looks more like a shore. On the one side, there’s the sea, sometimes dirty, sometimes clean, and on the other, there’s the sand, hot and reassuring, with dead sea-weeds and big dark shells that lay half buried in the sand, threathening to stab your feet. Quite an image painted in my mind 🙂

What I am saying is: I love my best friend and I can’t even imagine an alternate reality where I would find a good enough reason to give up on her. BUUUUUT I also have people in my life with who I have such a shitty track record I fear to imagine I would give them another chance to get back in my life.

I am an advocate on behalf of second chances, I believe everybody deserves them, I think you can work on all of the relationships you have in your life. I will not however work on one of the ones I have in mine. It is odd, I am aware of the disonance. I just feel like these two views are both part of me, they are not mutually exclusive and one will not influence the other. Or will they?

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