Today I noticed myself doing something interesting, something that also makes me happy. I was in full process of putting myself down for not studying for my Dutch class. I am waaaaay more behind than I want to be. That did not motivate me lately, so today I proceeded in what started out to be… Continue reading How I stop from comparing myself to others

I wish I would find it, though it's probably long lost. I know you're gone, you, your essence, your smell and warmth have vanished from the living realm. But it would soothe me to be reading your words, touching your writing, thinking of your hands on the paper. Thinking of those fingers, the tips of… Continue reading I know you left a diary

I am reading this book about attachment types. I have an anxious attachment style at the moment. They can change over time. Depending on what I choose to act on, on what I choose to think and to feel, my attachment style can change. That brings me to my point. Everything is a choice or… Continue reading Everything is either a choice or a decision

I know this for some time now, but I keep learning it. There's such a relief in knowing that no one really knows how to win at life. Because it's made of moments, good, better, learning moments. And the relief comes from the certainty that we all have fears and happiness, anxiety and thrill, sadness… Continue reading In the end we feel the same

To tell myself all the things I waited a lifetime for others to tell me. And to be honest, now I don't even understand why I waited. It was clear that I had it all in me, since I wanted others to see it and tell it to me. So today I say: I am… Continue reading Today I decide

I know I am not alone in thinking that I have contradictory thoughts and feelings. For example, while I do believe that friendships die of their own accord, because we lose common points with people or because we can't keep everyone in our lives, people will also hear me say that I simply cannot give… Continue reading

I always avoid going running. And I don't think it's because I don't like it, but because I feel self conscious about my body. It just now dawned on me, that most likely, everybody else who's out there running, either feels the same way as I do, or they just don't care about how my… Continue reading

When I told myself I just need to get through the day. That, and a very good cry. A very very long and full of snot kind of cry. So now I have puffy eyes and a headache. But somehow I feel better.