First off, it looked so fancy to start with a cliché and write "nobody said it was easy / no one ever said it would be this hard". In truth, right this moment, those lyrics don't represent what I want to say. Easy or hard are just words, they don't mean anything. I decide if… Continue reading Nobody said it was easy
I don't know when it happened. In the past, when I saw two people declaring their love for one another (in the movies or TV shows), there would always be a pang of pain with the happiness I felt for them. Today, there was only happiness. Maybe I am cured. Maybe I won't feel pain… Continue reading moving forward
My last entry was more than two years ago. I was asked why I stopped writing and for a second I did not know. I then realised I had not stopped writing. I have a diary I write in, I write in my head, I have a few hundred drafts in between my ears, they're… Continue reading I never stop writing
That was the question I had in mind and for some reason I thought Google might have an answer. As I started to write the question, a thought popped up. The answer to the question in a way. "Are there relationships that can't be saved?" "Relationships change. " came the answer. It was fleeting, and… Continue reading Are there relationships that can’t be saved?
It's a question because I don't know that there's ever just one answer to this. In my mind, accepting my body would mean to be able to like every stretchmark, saggy boobs, the fat around my belly, on my thighs, on my arms, on my calves and my back, the cellulite that will probably never… Continue reading What does accepting your body really mean?
This is a Story that I live in, from time to time. It can happen often, and I can also go long stretches of time without relieving the Story. I call it Story, because I can look at it as if there are characters at play. We have Anxiety, a beautiful being, who is at… Continue reading A story about anxiety
I pour my heart out in writing. I learn what I think as I write. I don't think I know any other way. I am tipsy, with my feelings barely at bay because of the alcohol. I am flawed. I am human. I love and I hurt, I write and I process. I hurt. I… Continue reading feeling whole and hollow
Last night I was reading The Only Story - Julian Barnes, which is a very good book, a lot of food for thought, but it is also a very sad book (in my entirely biased opinion). I haven't finished it yet, I still have a few pages left and I am hoping for a silver… Continue reading Doggedly, stubbornly hopeful
This is what I am learning yet again from Stoner by John Williams. We always have a choice but that doesn’t guarantee happiness or even contentment. Sometimes all the choices you have are ones that mean hardship, pain and struggle. I am reading Stoner by John Williams. It has been some time since I found myself really wanting to… Continue reading You always have a choice
There was a time when I prayed to God every day. I had no one to turn to, no one who could understand. I had an infinite love for Him and an unshakeable trust in his power and good-will. Even when he put the one who would become my best friend in my path, I… Continue reading When I was younger I prayed, now, I just… write